The Soul Tax
(4/1/24) What if, without your awareness or consent, someone was artificially reducing your potential? They were reducing your income, the quality of your relationships, your odds of being successful and even lowering the levels of respect other people showed toward you.
For example...
You create a startup that's destined to succeed, except it doesn't. It fails.
You have a wonderful relationship with your children for a few years, and then it falls apart.
Instead of having a lifetime soulmate, you have a series of broken relationships.
One day, even your own dog (or cat) bites you.
This isn't an imaginary scenario. You really are taxed without your consent or awareness. I call it the Soul Tax.
Like all complicated taxes, the less attention you pay to the tax, the more it costs you. This is why billionaires sometimes pay less in taxes than you do.
To put it simply, the less time you spend minimizing your Soul Tax, the more it costs you.
Your Soul Tax reduces your fulfillment, success, achievements and awareness. Imagine that someone takes away your Bombadier private jet and replaced it with a 1972 Volkswagen bus with broken windows, and you get the idea.
What do I mean by "soul"?
Let's stop for a moment and be specific about the way in which I'm using the word "soul", because my intention is to be inclusive of all humans, regardless of your religious or spiritual beliefs.
Your soul is your essence, the core of your existence. It encompasses your consciousness, emotions, thoughts and experiences. It is the intangible, yet vital spark that animates your life and connects you to a greater sense of purpose, meaning and interconnectedness.
Some, but not all, see the soul as the eternal, indestructible part of oneself that transcends the physical body and the limits of time. I'm simply using it to tap into our universal human yearning for depth, significance and connection in life.
Whether you view the soul as a spiritual entity, a psychological construct or a metaphorical representation of your innermost being, the soul is a powerful symbol of the profound mystery and value of human existence.
I hope it reminds you of our shared humanity, our capacity for compassion and creativity and our potential to leave a lasting impact on the world.
How does the Soul Tax work?
The less time you pay attention to your soul, the higher taxes you pay.
To be specific, you can reduce your tax by paying closer attention to your:
mental models
self-talk
fears
beliefs
Let's look at each of these, and consider their positive as well as negative aspects...
Mental models are cognitive frameworks or simplified representations of how you perceive, understand and interpret the world around you. They are shaped by personal experiences, cultural influences and social conditioning; they serve as the foundation for decision-making, problem-solving and behavior.
Examples of mental models:
Parenting: Young children learn by playing.
Leading public meetings: You can criticize an idea, but don’t criticize the speaker.
Growing your career: Know the person at work who controls your fate, and always do what they ask you to do.
Examples of negative mental models:
Everything I touch turns into a disaster.
No one likes me.
I’m not worthy of love.
When mental models accurately represent reality, they can promote efficient decision-making, effective problem-solving and adaptability.
They can enable you to quickly understand new information, draw connections and anticipate the consequences of your actions.
Mental models can also serve as a basis for empathy and understanding of other people's perspectives, which promote healthy communication and collaboration.
All of the above types of mental models tend to minimize your Soul Tax.
But... outdated, biased or inaccurate mental models negatively impact your ability to navigate complex situations or adapt to new information. They raise your Soul Tax.
Rigid or flawed mental models can lead to misunderstandings, poor decision-making and unproductive behaviors. They contribute to the formation of limiting beliefs, negative self-talk and maladaptive coping strategies (e.g., drinking too much or kicking your dog).
To reduce your Soul Tax, you will need to understand and adapt your mental models.
Self-talk, also known as mental chatter, describes the internal dialogue or ongoing stream of thoughts that run through your mind. This inner conversation can significantly influence your emotions, behavior and overall well being.
Positive self-talk can boost your self-esteem, confidence and motivation. It can help you surmount challenges and pursue your goals more effectively.
Constructive self-talk encourages resilience, promotes a growth mindset and fosters a healthy sense of self-compassion. Translation: you pay fewer taxes.
But... self-talk can be more brutal than anything you would dare say to another person. It can have detrimental effects on your mental health and emotional wellbeing.
Persistent, self-critical or pessimistic thoughts can lead to feelings of insecurity, anxiety and depression.
Negative self-talk can reinforce limiting beliefs, overblown fears, and unhelpful mental models.
This is the realm in which your taxes soar out of control. In quality of life terms, they can drive you into bankruptcy.
By identifying and replacing negative thoughts with more constructive and compassionate alternatives, you can avoid such a disaster.
Fears are deeply rooted emotional responses to perceived threats or dangers. They play a significant role in shaping your actions, decisions and overall mental state.
On the positive side, fear can serve as a protective mechanism by heightening your senses and promoting vigilance when it’s needed most (crossing a busy street or literally fighting in a war).
It can also foster personal growth by encouraging you to confront your insecurities, develop coping strategies and build resilience.
When you overcome your fears, you can gain self-confidence, self-esteem and a sense of accomplishment. Just ask anyone who climbed a 1,000-foot rock face how they felt at the top.
But... when fears become irrational, persistent or overwhelming, they can negatively impact your mental and emotional wellbeing.
Excessive fear can lead to anxiety, stress and even phobias, which can impair daily functioning, decision-making and interpersonal relationships.
Too much fear literally makes you stupid. You develop tunnel vision and lose the ability to think or act clearly.
If you seek growth and wellbeing, you must understand and manage your fears. Otherwise, you will be paying far more than your fair share of Soul Taxes.
Beliefs are deeply ingrained convictions or assumptions about ourselves, others and the world around us. They form the basis of our values, attitudes and expectations; they shape our thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Everyone has them, but it is crucial to recognize that some beliefs may have long ago stopped serving your interests or those of the people around you.
Positive and empowering beliefs can foster personal growth, resilience and wellbeing. They can foster compassion, kindness, cooperation and empathy. They bring people together, instead of pushing them apart.
But... dated or limiting beliefs can be incredibly divisive and derogatory. They can make you blind to opportunities and new possibilities. They can undercut your innate talents and invalidate every other positive aspect of who and what you are.
By examining the origins and validity of your beliefs, you can better see reality as it truly exists, rather than perceive a caricature of reality. It’s all too easy to let your beliefs blind you; this is why it makes sense to examine your underlying beliefs on a daily basis... and to do everything possible to get an accurate sense of them. It is all too easy to be delusional about what we believe, because our core beliefs are buried so deep below the surface of our daily lives
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To be clear, everyone has all of these things. I'm not suggesting that you free yourself of all fears, mental models, self-talk and beliefs.
I am suggesting that the greater your awareness of what is serving your interests in an expansive manner, the lower your Soul Tax will be.
To say this with more precision, I ask you to observe yourself and become more aware.
Do it with gentleness and grace. Don’t stress out about it. Just settle in and pay more attention.
The Soul Tax can be a greater burden to bear than any financial tax imposed by a government. Or, with daily attention on your part, it can become such a tiny liability as to be almost non-existent. The choice is literally up to you.
Remember, the less attention you pay to this tax, the higher its cost to you.
